Image Credit: UnSplash
Body image is such a sensitive topic, sure it's covered in school and we are told to embrace our bodies and love ourselves for who we are, but then we are bombarded with all this social media. Tabloids are telling us what the ideal body is and what is considered fit, healthy, and attractive… and if you do not have those traits or qualities then we are not beautiful. The past few years I have been struggling with body image.
You will prove to yourself very soon that you are worthy of everything good and that love is not something to be earned but something that is already surrounding you. You are loved by so many, now it’s time you learn to love yourself.
TRIGGER WARNING: the following material may be triggering for some individuals - please read with caution.
I’m no expert on body image. Nor have I suffered from an eating disorder. I’m just a man antagonized by body image issues all my life.
Along the way, I learned some life lessons. I hope those suffering as I do will find them useful.
Let me tell you something. I HATE self care…. or at least I thought I did. The idea of self care was introduced to me when I first entered therapy over a decade ago and I dismissed it without a second thought. “I don’t need self care,” I would say to myself. ” It isn’t important, it’s indulgent, I don’t deserve it, and it certainly won’t help.” This was my stance for years and years as I refused to do it whenever suggested.
"None of my actions were a choice - they were an illness, a coping mechanism that allowed me to disguise my insecurities, pain, trauma, self-hate, and complete belief that I was not enough, that I would never be enough."
I recently broke someone’s heart.
It wasn’t like an indie movie or a John Green book; there were no “wronged parties”. It was a long-term relationship with a partner that I still care about, but I knew deep down that I had been lying about the inevitable for too long.
Image Credit: UnSplash
Trigger Warning: this blog contains discussion of disordered eating behaviour, read at your own descretion.
I’m going to be writing about poop and digestion. Ugh. Right? I thought you needed fair warning.
One of the benefits of recovery from an eating disorder is being able to answer the call of nature. It sounds simple, and it is, but for someone with a history of an eating disorder, digestion is complex and life changing. For many years, and still today, my internal pipes are quite stubborn. They are angry, erratic, loose, retentive, and just plain impossible. That said, since committing to recovery, my digestion rewards me with more success than disappointment.