I used to feel betrayed by my body, like she was constantly trying to undermine every effort I made to change her. I always thought that if my body loved me, and was working for me, then why wouldn't she do what I wanted her to do? Why didn't she look the way I wanted her to look? I was never taught that she was on my side.
A few years ago, I started to reconsider whether telling my personal story of recovery is productive to the effort to reduce the social stigma and shame that has been problematically linked to eating disorders.
TRIGGER WARNING: the following material may be triggering for some individuals - please read with caution.
Trigger Warning: the following materials may be triggering for some individuals - please read with caution.
How do you make someone else understand exactly what it’s like to hate yourself? They usually just don’t get it and the conversation ends up as something like this:
“There must be something about yourself that you love.. Or at least like”
“I mean, I get good grades, so I guess I’m not a complete idiot”
TRIGGER WARNING: the following material may be triggering for some individuals. Please read with caution.
Who is “the media”?
Is it the morning news that I used to watch while I ate my Cheerios? Is it the fitness magazines that I desperately consumed all through middle school and high school? Is it The Biggest Loser or What Not To Wear or To The Bone? Is it the weight loss books that I checked out of my local library? Is it those infuriating Beachbody ads I keep seeing on Facebook? Is it Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram?
I would like to wish you all a happy belated International Day of the Girl Child! It’s truly good to be alive in an era where we can celebrate being female! However, we must acknowledge that there is still a lot of room for growth to bring equity to girls worldwide. Many females aren’t being given the same opportunity as males, and here in North America we are still being misrepresented by the media.
I used to blame my body for everything.