Photo Credit: UpSlash
Author: Jameson Hampton
There’s an odd dichotomy that comes with being transgender. On the one hand, I often feel like a teacher. There’s an assumption that I know more about gender theory than the average person and, for better or worse, there’s often an expectation that I educate others about my own identity, what it means to be trans and the struggles of my community. On the other hand, I often feel very much like a student, still trying to figure out things about my own body that other people have known since they were young.
We inherit a lot from our families. We inherit DNA, values, even behaviours and beliefs. Unfortunately, not everything we inherit benefits us. Sometimes it’s the complete opposite.
Image Credit: Provded by Ailey Jolie.
My road to recovery from disordered eating hasn't been linear. During my process, there were several periods of time where I physically appeared 'stable' to my friends and family. However inside my mind lived a monster of nemesis thinking. These times, when physically recovered from the detrimental consequences, were some of the toughest times to navigate because I hadn't reached an emotional equilibrium or addressed any of the deeper seeded emotions that caused me to seek comfort in depriving myself of nutrients.
My family became a team of superheroes, battling some evil villain when I couldn’t myself. After a while I realized there was no getting around it, I had let my family in and now I couldn’t kick them out. I had to sit back and try to enjoy.
Image Credit: UnSplash
Throughout my life, I have struggled with perfectionism.
The clothing in my closet had to be organized and arranged in a systematic and precise way, divided by colours, texture, and seasons. The books on my shelves had to be sorted by author, subject and year. I would spend hours shaping my external environment to be meticulously spotless.
As long as I can remember, food has been a large part of my life. Growing up Italian, it was inevitable. What 10 year old me did not anticipate was that enjoying food would become something of the past, and a preoccupation with counting and control would become the thing of the future.