May 28, 2015, 3:57 p.m.
When my recovery journey began in September 2007, I thought I had a clear image of what that would look like. Seven years later, I now know that a linear recovery process does not exist. There is no real end to this journey. This revelation has given me a sense of relief, calmness, and clarity to live again.
I was 37 years old, and had lived with my eating disorder for 7 years before finally asking for help. My doctor, family and friends were shocked to hear that I was suffering. We can all relate to the loneliness of this disease. I finally came to a point in my life where I knew I would not be able to move forward without the help and support of others. I knew I had to choose to live my life for me and not the disease. I believed that once I sought help I would have this problem quickly fixed.
Unfortunately, my doctor informed me that because I was not considered “sick” enough, there would be minimal help and support. Now it was my turn to be shocked. This was not a part of my plan that I had envisioned. I felt my journey to recovery was already over before it truly began.
However, I realized that quitting was not an option I chose to find peace, which led me to alternative routes for healing. I met with a dietitian every week for one hour, who provided me with amazing support and education. I also began to attend support groups and worked with psychiatrists in training.
My recovery has been an independent process. I took it upon myself to keep moving forward. I discovered new tools that helped me let go of negative habits that were a part of this disease. These tools focused on the positive and modified the way I viewed myself. This included daily reminders on my phone, tapping, coaching others, and writing my favorite sayings on the mirrors in my home.
I am a beautiful deserving woman and you are a beautiful deserving individual. We all deserve happiness and healing. I believe that with all my heart and soul.
So what does recovery mean to me? It means slipping from time to time. It means medication to help with my anxiety. It means it is not perfect and I am still working at it. But most importantly, it means I am living again. Living with the knowledge that I am happy with who I am, that I will never quit, and that I accept myself as I am now. It is not that 'perfect image' I imagined when I began, nor does it have an ending --and I am okay with that. What will recovery mean for me in 1, 2 or 10 years from now? I cannot say, but ensuring peace in my life will always be a priority.
Whatever recovery means to you, let it mean living, let it mean happiness, and let it mean acceptance with who you are now. Maybe it will mean setting one goal at a time, or learning about new tools. But most importantly, let it mean peace in your life.
TK is a highly motivated self-starter with over 18 years of management experience. She has worked for some of the top Canadian Financial and Retail companies. From starting her own production company with one of her best friends, to her 20 years of Life Coach training, TK continues to grow, learn, educate, support and nurture herself and those she comes in touch with daily. You will usually find TK with a smile on her face and energy that you can physically feel, with a laugh that often has people wondering what she is so happy about. Live, laugh and love everyday with pride, harmony and respect to all.
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