An Ode to Group Therapy

My first experience with group therapy was as a teenager, back in the days of in-person meetings. I had recovered from anorexia to a point where my clinicians felt I was ready for the next step: joining a Body Satisfaction Group for Teens. 

I was terrified for the first meeting. No one knew about my eating disorder outside of my family and treatment team. And now I was supposed to open up to strangers?  

My mood changed instantly when the facilitator greeted me warmly, and I saw the friendly faces seated around the table. No one looked as intimidating as I had imagined. 

We were an eccentric bunch, about ten teenage girls and one teenage boy. Our facilitator was patient and kind, and he laid down the rules right from the start. 

They included: being respectful, understanding, not using triggering language and turning off our cell phones. 

And so began the round of introductions. We each had our own unique stories with disordered eating, overlapping with similar themes of low self-worth and self-esteem.

One girl was a few years older than me, with bulimia. She had to postpone her university plans to stay back for another year of high school because her eating disorder had disrupted her final year. 

One girl had a mother with anorexia while she was pregnant. The facilitator interrupted to remind her of the no numbers rule before she could say how low her mother’s weight had dropped. 

Another girl became a quick friend. She had long dark hair and even darker eyeliner. Soft-spoken like me, we bonded simply because we sat next to each other and were around the same age.

Our first activity was to create pie charts that represented different parts of our lives, like hobbies, relationships, and appearance. At the program’s start, “Appearance” took up a considerable slice of my pie. I was trapped in a comparison loop of never feeling good enough. 

Fast  forward eight weeks to the end of the program, and my pie had many more slices. “Appearance” was still there, but it was overshadowed by other areas like “Friends,” “School,” “Family,” and “Extracurriculars.” I was so proud of this new, fuller pie. 

Our facilitator taught us to be respectful of our differences, to listen actively, and to see the strength in our struggles. We taught each other that we weren't alone. We all had a common enemy with our eating disorders. They had prevented us from enjoying the ups and downs of high school and living what we called a “normal” life. 

Our newfound knowledge meant that our eating disorders held less power over us. We now know how to identify cognitive distortions and challenge our thoughts. And what a revelation it was to discover positive self-talk! Plus, we brainstormed new ways to cope with difficult feelings, like hanging out with friends, going on MSN or doing yoga. 

On the very last day of our group, we decorated small boxes with glitter and stickers, then passed them around for others to write messages on them. Things like “You’re beautiful, don’t ever change,” “So glad we got to meet!” and “Stay strong.”

I’ve searched everywhere for that box and can’t find it. All I have are the memories. I still think about that group of teenagers and wonder how they’re doing ten years down the road, and if they remember in-person therapy as fondly as I do. 

Bio:

Chloë is a communications specialist turned eating disorder recovery blogger, writer and speaker. After experiencing a major relapse during the pandemic, she began a blog about eating disorder recovery:www.chloegrande.com. You can also find her on Instagram and Twitter: @chloshegrows.