Help for Yourself

Many of us experience difficulties with food, weight, and body image. These difficulties may negatively affect our lives and our self-esteem. If food and weight issues are causing distress in your life, seek support. You do not have to wait until you meet the criteria for a clinical eating disorder in order to get help. You deserve help at every stage of your struggles.

  • How do I know I have an eating disorder?

    • What is an eating disorder?

      Eating disorders are complex mental illnesses characterized by persistent disturbances in eating and eating-related behaviours that result in harm to one’s physical health, mental health, and/or psychosocial functioning. These behaviours often serve as ways of coping with distressing life circumstances, interpersonal difficulties, and/or negative emotions. Eating disorder behaviours may also be symptoms of malnourishment or starvation, and/or can be a response to a difficult, stressful, or traumatic situation. You can learn more about the different types of eating disorders under Eating Disorders & Treatment.

      While you will need to see a doctor, nurse practitioner, or psychologist in order to get a diagnosis, we have two different screening tools that can help you identify whether your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours relating to food, eating, and/or your body are consistent with symptoms of an eating disorder:

      1.  Screen for Disordered Eating (PDF)

      2.  Short ARFID Screen (PDF)

      Important note: These are not diagnostic tools and not substitutes for a professional evaluation.

    • What can lead to the development of an eating disorder?

      Eating concerns occur on a continuum that encompasses behaviours such as constantly worrying about our body shape and what we eat, as well as clinical eating disorders, like anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa. The development of an eating disorder can be the result of a combination of genetic, environmental, and psychological causes. This is referred to as the biopsychosocial model. Risk factors include:

      • Body dissatisfaction
      • Dieting
      • Experience of weight stigma (e.g. body-based bullying)
      • Genetics/family history
      • Low self-esteem
      • Predisposition to experiencing negative emotions or anxiety
      • Trauma

      Some people do not meet the criteria for a diagnosable eating disorder, but experience eating disorder symptoms that negatively impact their lives. If this describes you, it’s still worth thinking about how you can access support.

    • Is it possible to recover? 

      Eating disorders are serious illnesses, but people can – and do – recover fully. 

      Recovery looks and feels different for everyone. For some, it is an ongoing process of healing. For others, being recovered means they feel like they can live a full and satisfying life. Many people fully recover to the point where they no longer struggle with disordered thoughts, feelings, and behaviours related to food and their body. 

      It can definitely be scary and overwhelming to realize there may be a concern and to actually reach out for help. Feeling conflicted about “recovery” or “healing” is very normal regardless of where you are in your journey. It doesn’t invalidate the small or large part of you that is worried and/or wants something to change. 

      Frustration, exhaustion, and impatience are all common in the recovery experience. The healing process can be very lengthy and include multiple lapses or relapses. Having a support system can help reduce isolation, empower you with skills and strategies for coping with intense emotions and challenging settings, and strengthen your resilience and capacity for self-compassion. Consider this web of support a guide for various components you could tap into to build a support system.

      Web of Support

      There is no right or wrong approach. Click through the next header(s) under "How Can I Get Support?" for more information on what support could look like

  • How can I get support?

    • Asking friends and family for help

      It can be difficult to speak openly and constructively about your needs with friends and family if you’re struggling with food and weight issues. Perhaps you had a bad experience in the past or you’re scared they won’t understand – those are all valid concerns. However, if you often find yourself stuck in uncomfortable situations, such as conversations focused on food, weight, and dieting, letting your loved ones know about your struggle can be a step towards creating safer and more neutral spaces conducive to your recovery. 

      Although being open about your experience can be a frightening thing to consider, it can also be an empowering action to take. For tips on starting a conversation, read the section, “How to tell someone I’m struggling”.

    • I'm thinking about recovery but I'm not sure about looking for professional help right now – what other steps could I take?

      Self-directed resources, like educational videos, blog posts, workbooks, and support apps (e.g.  Recovery Record) can be good starting points for learning more about disordered eating and practical strategies. Check out NEDIC’s list of coping strategies for some ideas. If you’d like specific suggestions for resources that may be useful in your given situation, connect with us on our helpline and/or live chat service. 

      Peer support and online groups can be a good resource for those who feel isolated and would like to connect with others who have had similar experiences. Community-based groups are often free or low-cost and many can be accessed without a diagnosis or referral. Many are also drop-in groups, meaning you don’t have to worry about committing to something you’re not sure will be a good fit. Groups offer opportunities for participants to share experiences, realize that they aren’t alone in their feelings, and help each other deal with difficulties they are facing.

    • How do I get a diagnosis?

      Going to a primary care provider (e.g. family doctor or nurse practitioner) is a great first step because they are medically qualified to provide you with an assessment and diagnosis. They can also refer you to a specialized eating disorder program for further assessment and treatment. If you don’t have a primary care provider, you can go to a walk-in clinic. 

      The two resources below can help guide the conversation with your primary care provider and ensure that they have enough information to properly assess your health and determine the appropriate diagnosis in case they don’t have training in eating disorders. Unfortunately, not all primary care providers have this training; however, many are open to learning in order to support patients. The Guide for Primary Care Providers was developed for this reason. 

      Patient Checklist (PDF)

      Guide for Primary Care Providers (PDF)

      Getting a diagosis can be difficult for multiple reasons, including biases among health care providers. Some health care providers unfortunately have beliefs that prevent them from recognizing eating disorders beyond the stereotype of anorexia nervosa in thin teenaged girls or young women. For some individuals, getting a diagnosis involves a great deal of persistence, advocating for themselves, and consulting multiple health care providers.

      While a diagnosis is not required to access all treatment options, most publicly-funded services are limited to individuals who have been diagnosed by a health professional. 

      Keep in mind that you don't need to meet all of the criteria for an eating disorder diagnosis to deserve help. If you are struggling with disordered eating, seek support.

    • What are my professional help options? How can I get professional help?

      An initial assessment with a primary care provider (who could be a family doctor, general practitioner, or nurse practitioner) can help determine the kind of support that is most appropriate for your situation. Primary care providers can monitor your health and, where appropriate, provide a referral to a provincially-funded eating disorder treatment program or to specialists for diagnosis and care.

      NEDIC maintains a Service Provider Directory, which contains listings of service providers across Canada that have expertise in eating disorders, ranging from publicly-funded treatment clinics, to community-based organizations, to professionals in private practice. You can search the directory for options that you can access from your location. You can also call or chat with us  – we can search the directory for you and refer you to relevant service providers. Many offer telephone or online services. You can also use this tip sheet to help decide if a provider suits your needs. 

      Group therapy and support. Support groups allow group members to hear from other people who might be having similar experiences in a space where a trained facilitator is present to assist with group safety and reduce harm. Group assistance often helps to reduce isolation, enhance connection, and facilitates psychoeducation and opportunities for skill-building. 

      Comparing and contrasting group support, peer support, and group therapy (right-click to view a larger version in a new tab)

      Individual counselling or therapy. This may be appropriate for individuals who feel overwhelmed in groups or who feel that they would benefit more from one-on-one attention. Individual mental health services may be provided by a therapist, a psychologist, a social worker, or a counsellor, or a psychiatrist. Dietitians also offer specialized nutrition counselling which may benefit individuals experiencing eating disorders. The majority of individual services that exist for eating disorders are provided by professionals in private practice, and therefore have fees attached. Private or extended health benefits plans can at least partially cover the costs of these services. You can read about the different types of providers who offer individualized support under Eating Disorders & Treatment.  

      Provincially-funded eating disorder treatment programs. These are generally run out of hospitals. There are multiple levels of care – inpatient, day hospital, outpatient. Intensive treatment programs in Canada (i.e. inpatient and day hospital) are concentrated in the biggest urban areas. Services are facilitated by a multidisciplinary team of professionals. Access to these programs often require a doctor’s referral. Read more about this under Eating Disorders & Treatment.

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    • I might be in a medical/psychological crisis and need more intensive care

      People whose eating problems have reached a stage of medical and/or psychological crisis are often guided to seek more intensive support. This might include hospitalization or other specialized treatment programs within a hospital or community agency, which may require a doctor's referral. 

      The physical and psychological signs and symptoms listed below are some of the indicators of the need for immediate medical attention, such as calling an ambulance, visiting the emergency room, or if available, accessing a mobile crisis team. Please note that the list below is not exhaustive and that the items that appear here aren’t necessarily in order of increasing severity, but a given combination of signs and symptoms may mean that an individual is in particular danger.

      • Suicide risk
      • Deliberate self-harm
      • Heart rate <50 bpm
      • Difficulty breathing (especially when lying flat)
      • Loss of consciousness; fainting
      • Irregular heart beat; chest pain
      • Extremely low blood pressure
      • Pins-and-needles sensation in toes
      • Blood in vomit

      These situations can be extremely overwhelming and challenging to navigate, whether you’re personally experiencing an eating disorder or you’re trying to support someone who is. NEDIC’s helpline and live chat services are not equipped to provide intensive support in cases where conditions such as the above are present. If you or a person you are supporting is in an extremely high-risk situation, we advise you to access immediate medical attention through a visit to your nearest emergency room, medical clinic, or contacting a crisis-specific mental health helpline such as those offered by Talk Suicide Canada or your local community option.

    • I live in a small town/in the middle of nowhere – what are my options?

      It can be frustrating when resources are limited or hard to find. The amazing thing about support is that it comes in so many forms in different places. Services are available across Canada, even virtually. Help is still an option. 

      We can help figure out what is available to you. Connect with a trained support worker through our anonymous and confidential helpline and/or instant chat service, and we’ll walk you through your care options. Read our blog post What Can the Helpline Do for Me? for more information.  

      If you’d like to explore options on your own, check out the online community groups offered across Canada and use our service provider directory to find local and/or virtual options. 

      Tip! When using the service provider directory, make sure to select online services and use the filter button on the top right corner of the results page to broaden the distance of your search.  Under the "Accessibility" heading, you can select services that are open to residents of your province/territory as well as to residents across Canada.

    • I’m under 18 years old – what do I have to consider when accessing healthcare? 

      The healthcare system for youth can look different than what’s available for adults. For example, as the recommended first-line treatment for youth with eating disorders in hospitals is an outpatient approach known as Maudsley/Family-Based Therapy, parents or guardians are often more involved in the treatment process. For more about Maudsley Therapy, please visit "types of treatment"

      Teenagers often (rightfully) worry about how much of a “say” they will get when it comes to deciding next steps for help. As a minor, your participation in medical decision-making really depends on the healthcare provider’s assessment of whether you’re developmentally capable of understanding the nature and consequences of your medical concern and the expected risks and benefits of the proposed treatment. Keep in mind that everyone’s developmental growth happens at different rates and it’s largely determined by biological factors (i.e. genetics). 

      If you’re in a situation wherein the healthcare provider has recommended and decided to involve your parents/guardians in the decision-making process, this doesn’t mean that you can’t still advocate for your needs and preferences or make your thoughts known (i.e. what’s working, what’s not, your fears, where you want support, etc.). Ultimately, if you reach out to a healthcare provider privately first, it may be helpful to ask about their policies on confidentiality and how involvement with adults could look like in case it’s necessary.

      If you’re worried that your parents/caregivers won’t understand or take you seriously, sometimes seeking a private appointment with the healthcare provider can help with ensuring you are safe in the meantime and allows you space and time to work with your support options to prepare for the conversation with your parents/guardians. Consider sharing NEDIC's Caregiver's Guide with them to see if it helps answer their questions, and know that people supporting you can connect with our helpline and live chat services if they’d like to talk with us anonymously and confidentially.

  • How do I tell someone I’m struggling?

    • General considerations

      Try to identify a safe person

      Look for someone you trust – they could show signs of being patient, non-judgemental, and open to listening.

      • Is there anyone you’ve been able to confide in before?
      • If there is someone who might have personal experiences with disordered eating or other mental health concerns, and they chose to share it with you, would they be able to lend you an ear this time around?
      • Is there anyone you’ve heard talk about mental health or other difficult subjects in a mindful way?

      While the person you identify might not know much about disordered eating during your initial conversation, we trust that if they’re someone you trust, they are someone who genuinely cares for you and would be open to looking at resources, learning more about how to support you.

      Prepare for the conversation

      Finding a way to organize your thoughts can help in making the conversation as comfortable as possible. You could prepare by writing down what you want to say and how you’d like the conversation to flow. It might be helpful to think about:

      • The thoughts and feelings currently affecting your relationship with food and/or your body
      • How long you’ve been struggling for and the thoughts and feelings you had when the disordered eating behaviours started
      • How you’d like them to help and what they can do to support you

      For more ideas on how to break down your experience – the physical, emotional, and social changes – you can fill out our Patient Checklist and use it as a guide for identifying areas of concern you’d like to talk about. It’s important to highlight that the disordered behaviours are not just impacting you physically, but also mentally. This can help the person you’re talking with to better understand the scope of the effect of the disordered eating.

      If you’re thinking of having a conversation in-person, you could refer to your notes to help guide the chat or even read it aloud. If it feels too scary or unsafe to say this aloud, you could pass over your notes for the person to read, or consider sending them an e-mail or text. If you express yourself better orally, but face-to-face communication feels a bit too vulnerable, you could try speaking over the phone. Ultimately, remember you have lots of options. Choose what works for you and how you think you’ll have the most productive conversation.

      What if they react poorly/dismiss my concerns?

      It can hurt and be extremely discouraging when you gather your courage to tell someone about your concerns and they don’t provide you with the support you hoped for and need. Know that if this happens, it’s not your fault and it doesn’t invalidate your worthiness for help and treatment. It also doesn’t mean that you were wrong to share. 

      Since disordered eating behaviours are often normalized and glorified or outright shamed in our society, many people lack knowledge and awareness when it comes to this topic. They may not know how to react when someone first shares their concerns with them, and are afraid of saying the wrong thing. It doesn’t mean that the doors are completely shut – sometimes people just need some time to process their fear, denial, or confusion, before being able to respond with support. Letting them know about NEDIC could help them connect with resources or a trained support worker to learn more about eating disorders and how they, as a safe person you’ve identified, can help you.

      Sometimes the responses are well-intended, but fueled by misconceptions about eating disorders. You’re allowed to let them know what is helpful and what isn’t. Ultimately, you deserve support now, and if it seems like they’re not listening to you, it’s not your responsibility nor is it fair for you to spend so much time and energy to provide psychoeducation to convince someone. 

      Structuring the conversation

      • Find or arrange for a time when you can sit down and speak calmly and openly about your needs with the person.
      • Remember that you are in control of this conversation and that there should be mutual respect for each person’s feelings and needs.
      • Negotiate ground rules before beginning to talk about important issues: Request that no one interrupts another person while they are talking. Request that no one leaves the discussion until it is mutually agreed that it is over (even if it means taking some time to process new information and/or research, and then coming back together to chat).
      • Request that notions of guilt and blame be avoided. (Eating disorders are not a choice; they are serious mental illnesses rooted in a combination of biological, psychological, and sociocultural factors.)
      • Emphasize that this is a difficult task for all involved and that the effort to communicate openly and constructively will be appreciated.
      • You may want to share resources with your friends and family. Ask them if they are receptive to this.
      • Suggest that each person explores their own attitudes about body image, size, weight and shape. Ask them to make connections between their attitudes and the messages that they receive about people’s bodies and roles from social and cultural influences, like the media, their own upbringing, their friends and family, and their education or professional training.

    • How do I tell my primary care provider?

      Deciding to connect with a primary care provider can be a good first step. If you currently have one, consider disclosing your concerns with them and planning for next steps (e.g. a medical referral to an outpatient program or to a nutritionist). If you don’t have a primary care provider at the moment and instead are looking for walk-in options, is there someone, like a friend or family member, who could recommend a doctor they’ve seen before for mental health concerns? 

      • Use our Patient Checklist to help guide your conversation and ensure you mention the physical, mental, and social concerns you’re struggling with.

      • Share our Guide for Primary Care Providers to ensure your primary care provider is equipped with important information about eating disorders and disordered eating.
        • If you’re worried about being dismissed due to weight stigma and related misconceptions about the relationship between weight and health, don’t hesitate to connect with us through our helpline and chat services for specific resources that can help broach this topic.

      • You may be worried about confidentiality. You have the right to ask about what their policies look like regarding privacy and get answers to your concerns, before delving into the specifics of what you’re experiencing.
        • For example, “I’m struggling with something mental health related and it’s affecting my daily life. I’m scared to talk about it, especially in detail, without knowing how you’ll react and how this will affect my options for next steps. What’s your policy on confidentiality?”
        • If you’re under 18 years old, you can also follow-up by asking, “If you decide you have to tell my parents/guardian, will you tell me ahead of time, and how will that conversation happen? Do I get to choose if I’m present for that conversation?”

      • For some people, having a trusted person accompany them to the appointment can be helpful. They could provide support by sitting with you in the waiting room or by joining you in the appointment to help explain what’s happening. Choose what makes you feel most empowered and comfortable.

      • Getting an assessment will likely include chatting about your relationship with food and movement, getting weighed, and having a blood test in order to check your physical health. Being weighed can be triggering and uncomfortable; you can ask to stand backwards on the scale to avoid seeing the number and for the primary care provider and other medical office staff to not share the results with you.

      • If the appointment doesn’t go well and the primary care provider dismisses your concerns and refuses to make a referral, you can ask them to make note of their decision in your file. You also have the right to see a different provider – so don’t be afraid to try again. Finding a supportive provider makes a big difference for your immediate and continuous care.

    • How do I ask my parents/caregivers for help?

      Opening up by asking your parents/caregivers for help, possibly giving up some aspects of control, can be scary and make you hesitate. That’s valid! We included this section because many young people find it easier to navigate their healing journey when they have social support around them. The following tips are just suggestions and may not necessarily apply to your situation nor be an approach you’re comfortable with. Take what you need and leave the rest. 

      • Role play and/or practice telling them. Try different ways of going about it and how it feels to reply to different questions and/or responses. If there are people in your life who already know, ask them to see if you can practice putting words to your experience or feel free to call/chat with one of our support workers – whichever is more comfortable.

      • If you’re not sure how someone will react, you could try testing the waters. For example, you can talk about a story you heard about at school or through social media that is similar to your challenge and see how they react. This will give you an idea of their views and whether they’re likely to be understanding, as well as the resources that may be appropriate for bringing to your conversation (i.e. debunking diet culture myths, learning about eating disorders and treatment, the role of nutrition when it comes to eating disorders, etc.).

      • Think of some examples from your life when explaining your concern. This can help others gain a better understanding of how disordered eating is impacting you. For example, “I’m scared to eat. I miss hanging out with friends spontaneously and enjoying drinks/desserts with them” or “It’s hard for me to focus on school and things I enjoy because I’m always thinking about food.”

      • It’s quite common for people to have a hard time understanding mental health and the seriousness of disordered eating behaviours. Come equipped with resources and try to tap into your patience; be prepared for the possibility of needing to have a series of conversations on the same topic. Your parents/caregivers may have a steep learning curve.
        • Often, caregivers place a lot of value in the way others (including family) view them, and can be worried about being judged for having a child with “problems”. If this is the case, know that you’re still not at fault. It may be helpful to say, “I’m reaching out before things get worse and it’s harder to get better.”

      • While it is not your job to manage their emotions, if your parents/caregivers react with defensiveness and anger, know that this is common. These emotions are typical when people are caught off guard or believe they are being blamed.
        • To minimize the risk of this, try to avoid saying, “You should’ve noticed,” and asking questions that start with “why” (i.e. “Why can’t you believe me?”). It may be more productive to take an approach like this instead: “What questions do you have? I’ll try to answer them.”
        • It can help to use “I” statements, emotion-focused language, and empathetic responses. For example:
          • “I can imagine this is shocking to hear”
          • “It’s scary talking about this to you”
          • “I can see where this may seem unexpected”
          • “I can’t imagine what it’s like to hear me say that”
          • “Sometimes I won’t understand why you react the way you might. Can I ask you to be patient and gentle about it? I want to understand how you’re feeling too.”

      • You can express your interest in being involved in decisions relating to your difficulties with eating, like who to tell and when to talk about these concerns. For example:
        • “I’d like for you to keep me in the loop with decisions about treatment and recovery, and explain your decisions so that I can see it from your point of view.”
        • “Please don’t tell our extended family or my friends. I’m not comfortable with that right now.”
        • “Let’s save conversations about the eating disorder and treatment for evenings only. It’s not helpful to chat about it right before a meal.”

      • Be transparent and express any concerns about how the eating disorder will impact your relationship with your caregivers and within the family. This can help set expectations and allow your caregivers to better understand that this is also scary for you, not just for them.
        • “Don’t fight about me or get angry at each other over this. I don’t want to be the cause of arguments for anyone in the family.”
        • “Don’t look at me differently or treat me like I’ve been replaced by the eating disorder / this problem.”

      • You could start off more generally and work yourself up to details. For example, “I’m struggling to focus during classes, and just with a lot of stress in general; so not feeling my best at school doesn’t help. I’ve learned that not eating enough means not enough energy will be available for the brain, which actually affects our ability to concentrate. Eating has become extremely hard for me, and I could really use your help.”

      • Some caregivers are more strict because they are protective in nature, which may inadvertently lead to restrictions and isolation for you. In turn, the eating disorder may feel like the only valid way to gain some sort of control in your life. Acknowledging this with your caregivers can sometimes help, because then they can start to understand it is not that you’re “rebelling” against them, but that you just need support in a specific way.
        • For example, “I get that you’re strict and just want me to make good choices, I love you for that, and I also know that ironically, it’s because I don’t have control over whether I can go out or not that my brain ends up wanting me to control other things in my life, like food. I get that it doesn’t make sense and seems kinda like an excuse, but I’m being completely honest. Part of the experience of an ED is that it’s irrational.”

      • When disclosing concerns about disordered eating with caregivers that are generally indifferent or perhaps not the most mindful of mental health, it may be better for you to be extremely clear and direct about how you need support, and what you are hoping for from them.
        • For example, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and it’s not easy for me to say this, but I feel like it’s important for you to know. I’ve been struggling with my eating, and by that I mean I’m ______.  I’ve been hesitant to ask, but I do need your support with ______.”

      Self-validation: Before and after conversation

      Vulnerability is hard – it takes a lot to open up about this, and even harder when the disordered eating voice may tell you not to. Practicing self-validation is important as it can be helpful in building self-acceptance and a better understanding of our own internal experience, thoughts, and feelings. 

      Engaging in self-validation before and/or after telling your parents/caregivers may help you feel more aware and grounded in your thoughts and feelings, which often helps with managing intense emotions.

      Some examples of self-validating statements you could say aloud or write out:

      • I deserve and am worthy of help, no matter what my caregivers say/said.
      • It may or may not get easier after telling them, but that is okay. It’s important I tell them regardless.
      • This is hard stuff, and it makes sense I’m nervous and anxious about it.
      • Anxiety tells me there is a threat – and there is; the threat that I won’t be listened to or they won’t believe me. And although the threat is real, I can still do the hard things and tell them what’s going on.

      We also recognize that self-validation often requires self-compassion which can be hard for some of us. Know that you’re not alone. If you’re struggling to practice self-validation, reach out to us on the helpline or chat. We can act as a sort of a pre-call or debrief for your conversation with your parents/caregivers.

    • How do I tell someone with whom I'm living?

      If you’re living with other people, such as a partner or room/housemates, it’s important to figure out what and how much you want to disclose to them about your situation. It can be helpful to set boundaries around the kind of support you’re asking for and that they are capable of providing. 

      To gain a sense of how a housemate may react and whether they’d be open to supporting you and/or learning more, you could leave articles around the house or bring up in passing, stories on eating disorders you’ve heard on the news or through social media, that talk about eating disorders and/or body image. 

      Taking the first step to open up the conversation can be the hardest. If you normally text with your housemate, you might feel less vulnerable (and more brave) if the conversation around disclosing the eating disorder or asking for support took place over text while you were still in the same room (perhaps sitting next/across each other in the living room). It can allow you some space and possible buffers (e.g. the TV), but make it easy for physical connection, eye contact, and reassurance if needed. Alternatively, you could ask to chat while sitting back-to-back if face-to-face communication is intimidating or anxiety-provoking.

      If you’ve disclosed to your housemate you’re struggling with an eating disorder / disordered eating, you can set boundaries on how to best talk about this concern within the home, such as creating rules to address frequency, timing, typical support vs. emergency responses, etc. For example:

      • "I’m usually better at talking about this in the morning on weekends if you want to ask to chat, unless you truly think it’s an emergency and I need urgent help.”
      • “Please don’t discuss my mental health when other people are over/visiting, even if I’m normally chill with discussing my recovery anytime during weekends. I’m not comfortable with family or other friends knowing right now. If things change, I’ll let you know.”
      • “Don’t ask me about how therapy or the support group went, even if it looks like I’m upset when I’m coming back from a session. I might come to you and ask to chat about it – obviously, I’ll check to make sure you’re also in an okay headspace to listen. But otherwise, you can check in on me the next day.”